Participants

The sample consisted of 29 adult women between the ages of 22 and 61, residents of Medellin, from middle-class socioeconomic sectors. All of them are users of the Bereavement Unit of the San Vicente Funeral Home. This was a condition for their participation in the research, since it was required that, as part of the emotional care of the participants, they should have at their disposal the accompaniment of a psychotherapist on the subject of grief.

Instruments

The data generation technique was the unstructured, in-depth interview (^{Schettini & Cortazzo, 2016}). First, the interview guide inquires about the kinship and nature of the relationship between the bereaved and the deceased. Second, it explores the uses of Facebook by the bereaved during their grieving process. The interviews had an average duration of 60 minutes.

Procedure

The participants were invited through the support groups of the Bereavement Unit of the San Vicente Funeral Home, located in the city of Medellin. A first meeting was held with those interested in participating in the research, in which the objectives, method and technique of the study were presented. In addition, their doubts and concerns were answered. In this phase, both men and women were invited; however, 100% of those interested were women.

An appointment was then arranged with the participants, in which the ethical conditions of their participation in the study were clarified and the informed consent document was signed. Each person was assigned an alphanumeric code with which they were identified in the following phases of the study. Finally, the interviews were conducted and recorded in digital audio format.

A strictly inductive logic guided the data analysis. First, a microanalysis was carried out to segment and code the audios (^{Strauss & Corbin, 2002}). As a result of this process, 245 codes were generated referring to the uses of Facebook in relation to the experience of grief for the loss of a loved one. The conceptual density criterion (^{Monge, 2015}) allowed the codes to be grouped into the following categories: emotional expression, search for support, and interaction with the profile of the deceased. Atlas Ti v.7.0 software was used for the data transformation process.

Ethical considerations

The Bioethics Committee of the University of San Buenaventura evaluated and granted its approval for the execution of the research. The study was rated by the Committee as minimal risk. However, in order to ensure the psychological health of the women participants, psychologists with experience in clinical grief and qualitative research conducted all interviews. The participants had access to the psychological care services of the Bereavement Unit, such as individual psychotherapy and support groups. Finally, this study was directed in accordance with Colombian Law 1090 of 2006, which regulates research in psychology.

Facebook as a platform for emotional expression

Women going through a grieving process use Facebook to express emotions related to grief. For the case of this study, emotional expression is considered as a form of catharsis -in the vernacular sense of the word-. The ways in which painful emotions are expressed are: posting photos and messages or sharing songs. In turn, when such expressions find a response from the Facebook audience, participants interpret these interactions as manifestations of emotional support.

At the beginning, it was for me to transmit to people everything I was feeling. I would post photos, messages that came to me during the week or, when I was feeling very bad I would write “Why does it hurt so much?” When people expressed their support, I was happy (Matilde, 43 years old).

Although the participants know that their messages will not reach the direct recipient, i.e. the deceased, they will nevertheless be received by indirect recipients, i.e. the audience of their social networks. Thus, emotional expression during the grieving process is intended for two subjects: the person who has died and the large number of viewers who make up the social network. Even when the messages could be written in a private diary, the participants feel encouraged to post them on a digital platform, where they become visible to many people.

One day, I posted a picture of her, telling her “I miss you”, “my dear, how much I miss you”, “dear mother, dear mother, I carry you in my heart”. At Christmas I also posted that I missed her a lot (Nubia, 50 years old).

Participants find in Facebook, on the one hand, a channel to express their emotions, and on the other hand, various ways to express themselves emotionally. That is, this social network provides both the platform for emotional expression, for example, in the profile of the deceased user, and the resources for such expression, for example, with likes, reactions, posts, comments, etc. In addition, the place that Facebook occupies in the emotional experience of the bereaved takes on greater relevance when they perceive that in other settings, for example in their family, they are not listened to when they want to talk about their grief. Most of the participants report that in face-to-face interactions they are pressured not to talk about their emotions or the deceased person. On social media, however, there is always someone who responds positively to their posts.

It’s a way of expressing myself. It’s a way of expressing what I feel, through the networks, because very few people listen to me anymore (Jenny, 50 years old).

For women going through a process of grieving for the loss of a loved one, the emotions they express on Facebook are indeed what they feel. It is not a mask or a pose, but a genuine manifestation of their emotional life. In addition, participants report that the use of social networks is linked to the immediacy of their emotional experience. This makes sense within the framework of the structural design of social networks, which include live posting options, and also take advantage of the connectivity and portability of cell phones.

I say that when you post an emotion on Facebook, it is what you are feeling at that moment. I use Facebook by posting pictures and some statuses of how I was feeling at that moment. Expressing how one is feeling at that moment (Katherine, 45 years old).

The participants state that, during the first phases of the grieving process, Facebook is a useful tool for expressing their emotions and seeking the support they consider so necessary during these vital moments. The posting of photographs, which characterizes the social networks, is accompanied by texts referring to the emotions experienced by the users. Thus, emotional communication takes the form of two registers: iconic and textual. This enriches the experience of the participants, as well as that of the other users of the social network who are the consumers of this content.

I put a photo, and then I wrote what I was feeling. At the beginning it was a way to feel support, and to be able to express what I was feeling. I post the photo and, according to what I see in the photo, I write how I feel (Luz, 38 years old).

Search for support on digital platforms

Study participants often join online groups that address the topic of grief. These groups promote emotional expression, access to scientific information, and content about grief, death, and acceptance. This generates the perception that others who have also experienced loss understand their experience. In this type of group, participants offer and receive mutual support. In addition, the women interviewed reproduce in their own profiles the postings found in the online groups. The purpose of this practice is to ensure that messages reach new people who are going through a grieving process.

I looked for another group. It’s called “I have an angel in heaven”. There I watch videos, look at comments and I share all that. Many of those things I share with the people I have added on my Facebook page (Alba, 49 years old).

On the other hand, Facebook is a place where they can find help, both for themselves and for those close to them. For this reason, women join online groups and pages where they look for scientific posts that help to clarify their process. On these sites they find psychological support, which gives them confidence and clarity about the phases of emotional processing they are going through. In addition, they receive answers to their questions about how to cope with their loss, and how to develop strategies for the resignification of their life without their loved ones.

The articles I have read have helped me. In fact, they are from psychologists who post a lot there. I have several pages of psychologists; so at times I read things like that, which helps me a little bit (María, 54 years old).

Facebook offers people in a grieving process the possibility to support others, either by commenting on posts, reacting to posts, interacting with other members of grief support groups, or offering advice based on their experience. The above indicates a desire to give back the support found within the social network. It is a way of transmitting the lessons learned and an attempt to “help oneself by helping others”. This indicates that alleviating the pain of grief is achieved through interactive support processes, both what is received and what is offered.

I really like to post little phrases about grieving, about overcoming, that yes, you can, that storms have to pass, that after a storm the sun comes out. Because I like to show many people who are going through the same situations I went through when I experienced such hard times, that you can overcome it all, yes, we are capable of it (Dora, 48 years old).

Facebook is a free access tool for pain relief. Its users can access it whenever they wish, as long as they have an Internet connection. Although in the early stages of grief, the purpose of its use is to unburden oneself emotionally, in later stages the perception of its usefulness as a tool for giving and receiving support increases. This results in the generation of emotional states of relief and well-being for the bereaved, due to the perception of being accompanied in this process.

It was not a premeditated thing. It just happened. When I saw that I was writing and that people wrote back to me and that people asked me how I was doing, how my spirits were, that was nice for me, to see that at least the people on the network were writing to me (Catherine, 29 years old).

The tools developed by Facebook for interaction between users play a fundamental role in the perception of support. A like, a message, or an emoticon are responses that let the bereaved know that they have been seen, recognized and understood. Importantly, digital interactions convey emotions and attitudes such as caring and acceptance. Ultimately, these are the psychosocial aspects that make it possible to process grief and lessen the feeling of loneliness.

For me it has been very satisfying to be able to tell my friends, as well as my friends’ friends, how I am doing. Also, I receive support from them, because they immediately send me a sad face, a happy face, or a comment which provides support (Isabel, 29 years old).

Interaction with the profile of the deceased to keep their memory alive

The participants report that they habitually visit the Facebook profile of the deceased person. The women interviewed interact with the profile of the person who died, looking at their photographs or liking the posts they made during their lifetime. The images stored in the social network have a special meaning for the bereaved. It is a way of preserving memories and having permanent access to them. They are always there and can be viewed from anywhere. For this reason, the study participants consider it important that the social network account of the deceased is kept active.

I used to visit my husband’s profile to look at photos, to remember things, moments. He had posted some very nice pictures, it was easier for me to download them from his profile than to start looking for them (Paola, 37 years old).

The possibility of visiting the Facebook profile of the deceased brings the bereaved closer to a repository of texts and images that show how that person felt about the world. This allows the participants to access a sort of intimate memory where the deceased narrated his or her life and highlighted the significant milestones in it. This contact produces a sense of closeness with the deceased, as if by accessing this content they were also accessing, in some way, the life of their loved one. For the participants, this is a way of maintaining a bond and mitigating their absence.

When I look at my sister’s profile, to tell you the truth, it’s kind of hard. It makes me sad, but it’s like the way to see her, to look at the things she shared. It’s the only way I have to see her, to express my feelings. I thank God for the shared moments. I always write to her that I miss her very much (Rosa, 46 years old).

Accessing the deceased’s posts places the bereaved in an unusual situation: the digital content remains over time, but its interpretation varies with the changing circumstances. What could once have been an incomprehensible post may acquire a new meaning, especially when it comes to messages or posts with reflections. From these new interpretations, interactions arise between the bereaved and the content, which, according to the participants, is a form of communication with the loved one.

My mom had a page called “I am a survivor”. I check it out a lot. It’s very spiritual. She posted things like health tips, cancer management, but also very spiritual things, things that I have only recently come to fully understand. So it is through the profile and that page that I can feel she is talking to me (Dora, 49 years old).

The profile of the deceased becomes a space where participants ritualize periodically, on anniversaries and special dates. Memorial messages with emotional content are posted there, which validate the bond with the person who died. Friends and family members use the network to express their emotions. This prevents the profiles of the deceased from being closed or deleted, as they are attributed with a special status, making them places where it is permitted to say what needs to be expressed during the grieving process.

I wanted to close my husband’s Facebook profile, but I didn’t because one of his sisters, every month, on the 16^th of every month, posts something on my husband’s profile. Every month she posts something on his profile. She makes very nice collages and writes things (Monica, 47 years old).

To cope with the absence they face in everyday life, participants need to give a sense of continuity to the memory of their loved ones. This is where the use of Facebook makes sense, due to its tools for resorting to photos and messages posted previously. This allows for building memories in the present, as the memory is not lodged in a chronological past, but in a construction of subjective history and intimate memory of their loved one.